One of my few early memories...
It was the late 1970s.
A sticky, sweaty road trip back home from visiting Granny's house.
The sun beating in through the back windows.
It was the kind of sweat that made my little thighs stick to the vinyl car seat.
And I was crying.
More like bawling.
"Granny's old," I thought.
"Grandad's even older," I thought...
The idea of driving away and never seeing you again...
It was more than my little heart could take;
I had no idea what to do with emotions like that.
I'm still bawling.
Not so much for Grandad.
His relief is long overdue.
As is yours.
When we got the message the other day that Grandad had passed - and before that, really - but especially after - I didn't know how to feel.
As usual.
So I did what I always do... I went back to the Music. Back to songs that comforted me in the past.
They all sound so different to me now in a different context, but as they played out - as I cried out - I finally wallowed around in the emotions long enough to understand what they were saying. A new story began to unfold title by title, line by line.
What follows is an album of nine songs collected from various artists.
Several of which I've mourned with before.
But in this context, as I heard them this time...
They unfold an entirely new story in which nothing can hurt you. Nothing.
The project is called: "MANTA RAE
A Submarine Soundtrack for Grievers"
And I wanted you to know the lesson I rediscovered while working through this project...
After all these years, I finally know what to do with all these emotions.
I'm still bawling.
Probably always will.
But this time, for the first time, in those tears... intimacy.
I know what to do...
Swim the Sacred Spillways,
And mirror the Musical Muse.
She met me there in those Spillways,
and "MANTA RAE" was born.
She will take you there - to that fragile space - where words can't speak what the heart cries out.
And in that shared feeling, intimacy.
Granny, oh Granny, before I let you go
Just one thing to let you know...
To feel my heart prepare to break
On that dreadful day
You "Manta Rae"
Granny, I remember your kindness.
I remember your gentle, ever-loving support.
I remember your sacrifice for everyone around you.
I remember the salt in the tears I cried all the times I had to say goodbye.
Lucid or Lunatic, sometimes I ponder, but those things I know. They're honest. They're true.
Whatever else happens in this life, Granny...
I love you.
Always have.
Always Will.
~ Jason
